Black Widow vs. Black Monday

Two cataclysmic events took place on this, the morning of March 9, 2020, which are sure to rock our world for some time. Firstly, the stock market rapidly plunged 7% upon the news of a price war for crude oil between Saudi Arabia and Russia. Now being billed as Black Monday, oil stocks themselves fell a quarter of their value. Additionally, Italy has quarantined 16 million Italians potentially infected with the Corona virus, and in their northern industrial region, no less (affecting their gross national product). The market reacted to all of this news by plummeting rapidly, with what’s known as a circuit breaker being the only thing stopping a steep decline. Trading was stopped for 15 minutes after the market fell 7%.

Interestingly, the circuit breaker was put in place over 30 years ago last October in the aftermath of the first Black Monday, which took place in 1987, when the stock market fell a record 30%.

Amidst all of this sudden chaos, how can we stay so calm? After all, energy stock values are shamefully detrimental to the health and wellbeing of the Brophisticate’s 401k plan. We remain mostly chipper because the final Black Widow movie trailer came out this morning as well. And… it looks to be awwwwesome!

But, it’s still just a movie, and, if you’re worried about Covid19 (a.k.a.: the Corona Virus), why would you go anywhere in public? Well, true dat. But, it’ll be a rental soon enough, and, since we’re all staying home more these days, Season 2 of Black Monday also debuted their tv trailer! If, for some strange reason ScarJo in spandex doesn’t grab you, then the great Don Cheadle in this sick-ass weave sure should!

So, who wins in the battle of Black Widow vs. Black Monday? Well, if you mean today’s stock market crash when you say “Black Monday,” then consumers win because stock prices are at record lows. So, if you have the money and also have faith the market will rebound, then now’s the time to invest. But, if you say “Black Monday” and mean the original one from 1987, then the consumers still win because the circuit breakers which stopped trading after the market fell 7% today were actually put in place because of Black Monday. So, at least we learned from our previous mistakes. Now, if you meant “Black Monday” starring Don Cheadle vs. Black Widow, hmmm, we’re gonna hafta go with ScarJo in spandex on this one. Sorry, Don, but we’re still hoping Season 2 is SIIIICK!! Oh, and speaking of sick… stay healthy, my friends!