“Ich Bin Ein Berliner” and, YES, I’ll Have a Jelly Doughnut!

By Marveling Brando on May 18, 2015

The Hamburg “bay” as I called it

So there I sat on the banks of the “bay” in Hamburg….already plotting to what is next. It wasn’t that Hamburg was bad, it was just one of those places that has yet to grab me and say “stay an extra day!” I can’t tell if this is my inability to truly escape and enjoy this trip, or that I am too worried about home and the uncertain future when I return, whenever that may be. I sent a post card out to a friend back in the states with what is my newly designed rating scale:

Pretty sure Hitler had these put in to create the laser beam, or “Allen Parsons Project” Muhahaaaahhh!

1. Breakfast
2. Hot chocolate
3. Walkability
4. Food
5. Beer/Wine

50 total points. So far Hamburg was a 5/6/6/7/7 for a total score 31. Not bad, and I am not really sure as to why I have decided that these are the categories, I just know that I love hot chocolate! Of course, this whole time in Hamburg, I can hear my self talking in a high-pitched cross between the SNL skit “Dieter’s Sprockets” and an Ahnold voice that really makes no sense because he’s Austrian but I’m going with it. Hamburg is a very beautiful place, well, with the little walking I did down to the waterfront and back. They had a nice riverfront part that reminded me of NYC to some degree, without the huge towers and sky scrapers. What I thought was a bay was actually just a lake. Sailboats aplenty and a place to watch the sunshine. After a dinner that certainly plumped me up, I decided back to the hotel for what has become my regular mid afternoon thing…NAP!

I guess that when a nap becomes a long 8-hour sleep, you may have needed it. Berlin and all the preconceived stereotypes of cold war East vs West Germany awaits. All that I can think of is that old 1980’s movie with Anthony Edwards, “Gotcha”. No need to scour imdb.com because it was not a very good movie….high school kid gets mistaken for someone and rolls through France and Germany as a spy with his love, Sasha.

Aaaand, about that jelly donut…

The first and only thing in Berlin that keeps coming out of my head is JFK’s speech. “Ich bin ein Berliner” or was it that scandalous jelly donut. Needless to say, I found my first pastry shop and a series of grunts, unintelligible word, throw in a few hand gestures, I have what appears to be that very jelly donut. OK….now time to grab some dinner and a pub tour.

Soon after the part between dinner and the 10 minutes to start the pub tour, I decided that 2 large beers and a huge mid afternoon stuffing was enough and I needed to walk it off by trying to find my way back to the hotel. One thing in Germany that I have noticed, is that there is always some type of figure in the sky to keep my direction.

It’s like going to NYC and looking up to find the Chrysler or Empire State Buildings as a point of reference to know that you are lost and have no clue as to where you need to go. Yep! no different here. it was a good 3 hour wander until I finally ended up standing on the other side of the street looking up right to my hotel. I had essentially walked around 3 city blocks trying to find this place. So, 1 scheduled tour skipped. I figure its because I am trying to figure out my anti-socialism at this point, but oh well. Tomorrow is another day and I am frickin’ tired. So far Berlin is pretty cool. Museums, more waterways, a torrid history.

English: The Fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989. Th...

The Fall of the Berlin Wall, November, 1989.

I got up early the next morning, not necessarily because of my own will but the rather loud jackhammer going at 06:45. This time, I am going to find a few things and check them out. I oriented my map and off to the Berlin Wall. After walking around for about 30 minutes, going to the Brandenburg Gate, croissant in one hand and flimsy, folded a million times over street map and carefully hailed a taxi. I asked the cab driver to “take me to the Berlin Wall!”

The Brandenburg Gate today

Of which he easily responded, “which part?” Which part? the part that I remember from Mrs. Hunt’s history class as they were tearing it down. You know, the Ronald Reagan, “Tear down this wall” speech? So, off we zoomed in his Mercedes taxi through the busy streets, playing Frogger with pedestrians and cyclist alike, until we ended up at this long deserted opening in a graffiti covered fence line. “Here you go! This is the wall and that is what was East Berlin!” As I exited his taxi, all things went silent and I tried to take myself back to all of the WWII and cold war movies I had watched growing up. They were nothing like this. This was an empty field with trash and homeless folks.

Only the Hitler Youth could be creepier than the two little girls from The Shining.

“This is it?” I asked myself. It took me a second or three to really soak in what had all happened at this site. The people shot and killed trying to escape for their freedom, the clandestine activities that were all a result of this wall. This colorful concrete palate that was once a sign of isolation and seclusion is now a huge canvas for graffiti artist that show off their talents. Remarkable! It wasn’t just reserved for the Berlin Wall, but the city seemed to embrace the visual arts! It was nothing to see a house or office building painted in some crazy mural.

The surprisingly underwhelming East Berlin Wall

Berlin was interesting because of one thing for me. All I could do is feel suspect in that town…like I was some sort of spy. Its definitely somewhere I could go back to and enjoy for a week or so. Instead of staying this time, I have decided to go ahead and hop back in my car and head south to Prague, Czech Republic. Its a city that is very similar to Berlin, just with a hell of a lot more old world charm!