FXjr. Coming soon

The network known for edgy programming like Rescue Me and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is now unveiling its new pet project: FXjr.

Based on the wildly successful Nickelodeon Jr. that conquered the age 5-8 demographic in the 90s, FXjr. will take many of the flagship brands and repackage them to appeal to children.

Sons of Anarchy, the wildly successful series about outlaw motorcycle gangs and their involvement with drugs and crime, will be made into an animated show called Tusk, with Anthony Anderson providing the voice of the main character Tusk, an overweight walrus living on an ice floe in the Antarctic.  Michael J. Fox will be the voice of Tusk’s best pal Otto, the friendly and mischevious otter who helps Tusk run their hot chocolate stand.  A spokeperson for the network remarked that it was a real challenge to make such coarse material acceptable for young viewers.  “In the end though,” she said, “we succeeded in maintaining the show’s gritty essence and core plot lines in a format kids will understand.”

As far as changes to Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, network executives said the following:

“There will be no changes to the format or programming for Its Always Sunny.  We figure if your kid is offended or doesn’t think its funny, they have a crappy sense of humor.  And there’s nothing we can do about that.”