Kansas City Royals Fans Will Do Anything for a Win

By Steel Trap on October 1, 2014

By now most of you have probably heard the endearing story of the Kansas City Royals fan who promised his girlfriend a puppy if the team wins. In exchange, she has to go to the games, and become a thoroughly engaged fan. It’s a sweet notion. Innocence in a time of terror… a heartfelt display in the hallowed halls of America’s pastime.

Perhaps what’s so endearing about this is how much of a fan she’s become for something any of us could provide—including herself. Can a beautiful girl really want something that simple? Can all the books that have been written and the movies that have been made really have it wrong? Women really AREN’T from Venus??!! That’s good, because, while it looks good in the night sky, we hear it’s a terrible place.

The cynic in us has other thoughts. Such as, who’s gonna pick up the shit and walk the little fuzzball in the snow? Here’s an almost-too-pretty-for-an-avid-sports-fan girl with a sign equally as pretty (this looks like a job for Kinko’s!) who is suddenly enthusiastic about a sporting event which, prior to this spring, she could hardly care about. If you removed the media attention, how much would she still care? There’d be no need for a sign, that’s for sure.

So, we decided to create our own “Puppy Propositions” just to see if Kansas City Royals fans would be equally optimistic about the added incentive.

The Basic Conditional Proposition: If /Then