NFL Fantasy Football Stunts Productivity

It turns out it’s not all Obama’s fault.  Fantasy football has crippled the economy yet again.

For another year,  employees, male and female, have not given a flying crap about TPS reports, purchase orders, filing, or any other duty that does not strictly relate to their fantasy roster.

It is predicted that combined productive office work hours will drop by 383,804 hours this fall.  When reached for comment about the issue, accountant Don Watson said, “get the hell out of my office… DAMN YOU Houshmandzadeh!  Catch the F-ing ball.  You’re killing me here!”

The anger was understandable, considering Don was playing his brother-in-law this week, whose team, the I’m Banging Your Sister Squad, was ahead by a mere 3 points.

CEO of a major unnamed corporation could not be reached for comment regarding his employees slacking off.  Through a company spokesperson, the CEO said, “Dude, seriously, you dropped THAT interception.  It was right in your hands.  You suck!  I’m putting you on waivers — Hey Doris, when is that interview with the Broham people?”