The PR Problem Alfa Romeo Doesn’t Know They Have

It took an Italian porn star coupled with Alfa’s 60s racing heritage to rationalize to consumers a major purchase such as the 4C from the world’s notoriously most unreliable auto manufacturer.

With the Chicago Auto Show wrapping up last week, the Brophisticate made its annual pilgrimage to Media Day for a close-up and personal exploration of all the new models. Pun somewhat intended, as the automakers staff their booths with professional models who SOLE JOB is to pose with their newest cars, and by extension, make the cars look more attractive.

Except for Alfa-Romeo, the legendary Italian automaker who’s flopped in modern times but is entering its third year of a push to re-launch itself in the US market. With the notable exceptions of the Ford GT and Acura NSX, all the manufactures opened their cars to photography and inspections on press day, even the premium models normally fenced off from the public attendees.
But not Alfa.

The Alpha Romeo 4C shown at a time when their car models were more agreeable to photography.

First, the backstory: Two years ago, they debuted their well-reviewed 4C, a compact carbon fiber rocketship packed with so much sporty tech, the company sold it at a loss in order to generate brand interest. Executives debuted it at media day alongside three vintage Alfa race cars, which – they boasted as often as anyone would listen – were worth $30 million. One of their booth models was later revealed to be a porn star. But the 4Cs sat behind velvet ropes, and no one was allowed anywhere near them. Media was informed that the car was sold out, interested prospective customers could not take test drives at dealerships, and the car only was available in three colors.

Last year the uber-valuable vintage race cars returned, but still no access to the by-then year-old 4C model. Velvet ropes = Exclusivity = If-You-Can’t-See-It-Up-Close-You’ll-Probably-Want-to-Buy-It-Even-More?

This year, however, Alfa got rid of the velvet ropes and put its full expanded lineup on the main show floor, right there for everyone to sidle up to. But, OH THE DECEPTION. All vehicles remained locked, and even the press weren’t allowed inside for pictures. But the best was still to come: When a reporter asked a booth model to pose next to a car for a press picture, Brophisicate sadly observed the following exchange:

PHOTOGRAPHER: Excuse me, would it be possible to take a picture of you with the new Quadrifoglio?
MODEL: Uhhh, why?!?!
PHOTOGRAPHER: Because it’s Media Day and we’d like a flattering shot of the car.
MODEL: Well, okay, I guess, but only if it’s with the car and not just me.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Yeah, that’s what we wanted.
MODEL: Actually, you know what, I think no. Yeah, definitely no. No pictures.

Interestingly, the aforementioned model was nowhere near as hot as the ones we photographed at the Alfa Romeo booth just a couple of years ago.

So there you have it, three years running: Here’s the new Alfa Romeo. You can’t have one. You can’t sit in one. Don’t photograph the models. (But by the way, we’re corporately struggling, and REALLY wish people would buy our cars).