The Weird Normal

I gotta stop watching TV in the mornings. At least until noon. I can’t get through ten minutes without wanting a beer — and trust me I don’t need or want a beer. I turned from my Miller Lite ad (where the guy can’t tell his girl he loves her but damn if that beer don’t pull at his heartstrings) to an Encore movie channel, cross my fingers, but Lt. Col. Frank Slade and “John” Daniels are there to motion me in. Clear for landing, eh? Back to Sportscenter for the Coors Light Cold Hard Facts with the NFL crew. Do we really need a sixpack at a time? Click… Danica Patrick as the Go Daddy girl — Whoo! No alcohol tempting me but they’re pushing me toward that other addiction. Good thing Ketel One reminds me next that there was a time when men were men — and “it was last night.”   Don’t they mean “make it today.”  Thank god for the fair and balanced FOX Network. At least they’re showing heartburn medication commercials too. Sorry guys, I’m jonesin’, I gotta hop on my Clydesdale and get down to the corner store.