Vonn-tastic!

Lindsey Vonn, after becoming the first American female skier to take home the Gold Medal in the Downhill, has decided on a bold new wardrobe change.  Hoping to draw some of the attention away from her bruised and battered shin, which many thought would impede her run, she will don a bikini-themed snowsuit for her next event.  “I just didn’t think being in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue was sexy enough,” she said.  “Not for a Gold Medalist.”

The outfit will be largely flesh colored, except for the appropriately leopard skinned accents that will make her look as though she’s skiing down the mountain in nothing but her undies.

When pressed on the issue, Vonn admitted another gold medal might make her raise the stakes even higher, hinting that a completely sheer one piece set of coveralls is in the works.  Asked if she would consider going completely nude, Vonn blushed and shivered mockingly, saying, “probably not, unless we’re skiing on sand in Aruba — but I guess it might make me a little faster.”  Fingers crossed.

Dick Ebersol of NBC was seen wearing a mock version of the Vonn ski bikini outfit, kicking off an all out merchandising onslaught, including Lindsey Vonn action figures – clothes optional – posters, fatheads, energy drinks, and a line of hand lotions.

A spokesperson for Vonn confirmed that nearly all proceeds will go toward fighting childhood obesity, with a small portion going toward battling hairy palms.  U-S-A…U-S-A…U-S-A!