5 Offbeat Soda Pops and When You Actually Drink Them

Stroll by your favorite convenience store or a soda machine, and you may have noticed that Coke recently brought back Mello Yello. It was probably five years ago that they discontinued it for that horrid cola, Vault. We truly missed Mello Yello—and not just because of that Donovan song—it kinda represented the slacker inner-poet in all of us. For most, if you want a fountain drink with your sandwich, it’s either Coke or Pepsi. But embark on your next road trip and you’re just one truck stop away from sampling one of these beauties. Here’s how that scenario just might play out.

Probably the biggest WTF moment involving soda and a movie theater was these wannabe Spice Girls asking us if we wanted a Fanta before the flick even started. The immediate answer was “Uh, I’m not so sure I do.” But then later, we’re at the store and no one’s looking… so, we buy one, because “hey, those chicks were really happy, and their only key ingredient towards self-fulfillment involved drinking a Fanta! Oh, and, they were kinda hot.”

How many times have you done a spit-take and said something ‘tastes like cat piss?’ Well, now you won’t even be exaggerating after you take a swig of Kitty Piddle! We’ll give you ten dollars to come up with a more badass logo. Like the Black Cat fireworks logo, THEN we might drink it.

If you’re broke as shit but your parents have a Sam’s card, then you might want to bring the Thunder. Wal-mart developed these alterna-sodas in the 90s so cheap peeps can get their carbonated drink on. Bring five bucks and buy it in bulk. Besides being a Pepper, this makes us wonder if ole Sam Walton was also a closet KISS fan, as this would certainly make him the “God of Thunder.”

You’re most likely to stumble upon this little gem in a backwoods cabin converted into a gas station somewhere in Tarheel country. And just to round out this fantasy, we’ll include banjo pickers and a lone Hee-Haw babe on the porch out front. If you like Cherry Coke but secretly wish they had even MORE cherry in it, or you can’t find it because one month Coke puts cherry in everything and the next month its gone, then THIS is your drink.

You see Canada Dry in a fully stocked bar or in a stewardess’ airline caddy, but unless you’re mixing a cocktail, it’s rare that you see someone choosing to drink it. Just as soon as you ever barf uncontrollably or shit your guts out, however, chances are someone will recommend this libation to ease your upset stomach. And then, remembering the healing power of the ginger root, you’ll order it on your next flight as either a fond tribute or memory.

And now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Our tribute to Mello Yello.