Newly Retired Brett Favre to Star in Armageddon Sequel

The news that Brett Favre is once again retiring is all over the airwaves.  But this “shocking” story is being overshadowed by recent word of his next move.  ULTRA-breaking news confirms that Favre will follow in the footsteps of Armageddon‘s Bruce Willis and Space Cowboy‘s Ed Harris as the newest past-his-prime public figure in the role of Intergalactic Hero, as a mammoth asteroid speeds along its path toward earth.

In the past, strategies like drilling holes into the space rock and rigging it with explosives have long been the preferred route.  Brett Favre’s mission is thought to involve him hurling flaming footballs at the asteroid’s weak spots until the rock splits and the shards narrowly miss Earth.  Favre is currently training for the zero gravity environment in Texas, at the newly erected NASA/Football Complex funded by Cowboy’s owner Jerry Jones.

Transformers director Michael Bay has shown interest, as has Megan Fox, though neither will sign on if the other becomes part of the equation. In addition, a support team of other retired stars is currently being assembled to assist Favre.  Warren Moon and Emmitt Smith are rumored to have signed on, as well as Jon McEnroe to add ‘flavor’ to the team.  Steve Buscemi had expressed interest publicly, and it is thought he will reprise his role as psychotic comic relief in the upcoming mission.  There is yet no word whether a theme song is in the works.  Def Leppard has petitioned their ’80s Top 40 hit, “Armageddonit” be the title track, however producers seem stuck on the film’s working title, Armageddon Some. Steven Tyler could not be reached for comment.