Going Soylent Green to the Grave

Think going green is the next big thing?  Like Lee Corso says:  Not so fast, my friend.

Soy milk thinks it’s better than the fatty whole.  The future of health foods? – the horror story has already been told.

Charlton Heston found out the secret in the Sci-fi flick Soylent Green (which just came out on Blu Ray, kids!) – the food product that would be a solution to all of our woes and end world hunger – but “Soylent Green is people!!”  Just ask Heston; and for the record, he eats his beef damn’t!  That’s why he’s so strong (see how easily he lifted those Ten Commandments?).

Could that mass grave be masquerading as a non-fat soy chai latte with wheat grass foam?  You better ask yourself the next time you turn down a bloody hunk of cow for a molded link of soy-sage.  That could be Little Jimmy’s little jimmy.

Why stop there?  Maybe mankind can harness our dead flesh to power our Priuses.  Of course if its mass graves we’re talking, we might still have to buy that power from Libya and the Saudis.

Point is this:  eat your health foods, dunk your soy-REO cookie into your frothy faux-milk, but don’t come crawling to me in uncontrollable laughter (the first symptom of the deadly kuru disease) when word gets out you’ve been ingesting the distilled juices and bodily fluids of your neighbor Tim who mysteriously moved away a few months back.