Sucker Punch (movie review)

This chick in the sailor moon skirt is a young girl who’s been tossed into a mental asylum, patrolled by armed guards and immoral authority.  After her early years of perpetual pain, abuse, and isolation, she finds access to a new power inside her own mind.  Recruiting a band of other imprisoned girls, they set off on a determined plan to escape.  The question becomes, is that really gunfire, are those really gunships and has the world of the stone asylum really become a sprawling apocalyptic wasteland?

We first meet our characters in a setting reminiscent of Shutter Island or Arkham Asylum.  They are dressed in their asylum-issued attire.  But once these chicks put their mind to it, instructed by a wise old sage of a man, they become heroines packing heat, and their path out of the prison takes the form of an epic quest.  The question of which reality is the real one falls away.  Because, of course, if I imagine you as a drooling beast instead of a uniformed guard, and my pocket knife as a samurai sword, who cares if it aint?: YOU’RE still dead when the blade slices your jugular.

Not to mention these girls would give any Tarantino-created femme fatale team a run for their money.

VERDICT:  See this flick.  And on the way out, if some asshole rudely bumps you, turn yourself into Jax from Street Fighter in your mind’s eye and pound him.

Plus, doesn’t the wise old man look a little like a hologram of David Carradine (rest his soul)?

Speaking of dick jokes and samurai swords, have you heard the one about the man in Sweden who had to have his penis amputated…?

Check out BROreport, we got the scoop.