All posts by Holden Dynamite
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NBA: Nerd Ballers Alert!
We're not the first to note the Urkelian weirdness of LeBron James and Dwyane Wade taking the mic at a press conference looking less like...
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Schwarzenegger Scandal!
Late last night our sources confirmed by peeking through the window of the CNN newsroom that Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted to fathering a child with...
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Voices of the Nation: High School Kid
Hey everybody, I put up the answers to the homework up that Ms. Kildegaard assigned. The questions from page 37. All the odd answers are...
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Classified Photos of Osama Bin Laden hit (Pics)
Through our trusted sources buried deep within the State Department, BroSPIES have obtained unreleased images from the raid on Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan. ...
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Assume the Royal Position (Pic)
The one question on everyone’s mind today wasn’t “who’s she wearing?” It was: HOW ARE THEY GONNA DO IT!?
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Nice and Etsy, That’s Not Their Style
Giant purple dildo? Etsy does it! Etsy.com, the merchandising web giant, has come under fire after unveiling it's new People Search tool. The move...
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Fast Five Wiki-Leak: Even Faster, MORE Furious!!
The producers of this summer’s blockbuster street-racing franchise are FURIOUS that the footage has been released so Fast! A horrible play on words, that last sentence. ...
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Going Soylent Green to the Grave
Think going green is the next big thing? Like Lee Corso says: Not so fast, my friend. Soy milk thinks it’s better than the fatty...
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Who let the Dogs out! (Pics)
Summer is almost here and it’s time to show a little skin. Don’t be shy. Have some fun and let your ears hang out. Take...
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Surge: We hardly knew ye
Long before Monster energy drink ads were plastered onto BMX bikes and way back before Red Bull gave you wings, there was Surge. Surge ruled...
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Cyber Psychosis (Pics)
As the iPad 2 officially hits shelves and millions around the world shuffle through lines and elbow down the aisles for the next big thing...
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Where are They Now? Those matching socks I had
They were four individuals who seemed destined to be together. Each had a matching tattoo and that baby-faced softness all the girls loved. ...
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Who has the hottest Fans?!
Here’s this week’s poll question: Would you rather get wiped down by the Terrible Towel in the hands of a Heart-“Steeling” Hottie…? …OR Play hutt!...
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John Wilkes Booth Angry his Acting Career Less Remembered
Recently recovered documents attributed to John Wilkes Booth on his hurried escape South after the assassination of Lincoln reveal the depth of Booth’s anger and...
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Not So Little Debbie
Little Debbie, recognized all over the world as the preeminent spokesperson for cellophane-wrapped snack cakes, has reportedly ballooned up to 212 pounds. Her four foot,...
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Movie Mixup Madness
Actors play so many various characters in their career, it can get mixed up in your head. For example, Tom Sizemore played a bank robber...
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5 Reasons Girls Shouldn’t Do ‘Roids
It seems women will do just about anything these days to achieve that perfect body. But before you buy your girl that bottle of andro...
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Gary Busey Newest FoxNews Talking Head
Glenn Beck, host of the wildly popular Glenn Beck Program, has been fired in a surprise move from FOX News. Anonymous sources high up in...
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HELL deals with overpopulation
The kingdom of Lucifer, known popularly as Hell, is facing a problem they haven’t had in a millennium. The residential infrastructure that Satan built some...
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NFL Fantasy Football Stunts Productivity
It turns out it’s not all Obama’s fault. Fantasy football has crippled the economy yet again. For another year, employees, male and female, have not...
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Behind the Scenes: Evan Williams Private Eye (Video)
When Evan Williams Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Sour Mash Jr. was born in 1783, he was three weeks premature and a half-pint underweight. As a...
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Rodney Dangerfield sex-tape uncovered!
Babylon, Long Island … A locked trunk was unearthed today at the residence of Ethel Willard, who reported to local animal control that her Jack...
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FXjr. Coming soon
The network known for edgy programming like Rescue Me and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is now unveiling its new pet project: FXjr. Based on the wildly successful...
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9 Reasons Why “The Expendables” Is Aptly Named
You know the A-Team? Well, this is the Z-TEAM. The Omega to the Alpha (polish up on your Greek, son!). Everybody is curious about the new...
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Newly Retired Brett Favre to Star in Armageddon Sequel
The news that Brett Favre is once again retiring is all over the airwaves. But this “shocking” story is being overshadowed by recent word of...
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Gary Coleman, a Tribute
Gary freakin’ Coleman. Wow. There was a hot minute where all anyone could talk about was this guy. How cute he was, how funny he...
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The Kentucky Derby… Wait, what happened?
Its been three weeks since the Derby ran, and I’m finally out of my mint julep haze. Now, my simple syrup and bourbon coma lifted,...
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Jobs NFL players WOULD have
Wouldn’t we all love to get payed to play. But what if THEY weren’t. What would they do? Ben Rothlisberger: Okay, yeah, he works in...
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Date Night with Tina Fey
Anybody with two eyes and half a brain can see Tina Fey’s a foxy lady. She’s like the girl from She’s All That, take her...
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Top 10 Dragons from the Stories We Love
Now that How to Train Your Dragon is entertaining a new generation of young and old alike, it’s time to recount some Dragons that came before. ...
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